Buh-nah-nah

Sometime back in high school, after driving to some school to take the S.A.T. (damn… that was so long ago)

I was looking around the yarn and humoring one of my compulsions to fix mis-organized merch.  I ended up with an armful of skeins and had just finished returning them to their proper place when someone mistook me for a worker.

I laughed and told her I didn’t work there, but since her question was about crocheting I could probably answer.
We talked about yarn, the blanket, and some patterns she could use.  Finally, I decided to ask who they were for and she told me it was for her sister’s new born.
Before I could congratulate her she asked, “Where are you from, may I ask?”

“haha, I’m from Peru, but-“
“oooh! How long have you lived in the states??”
“Actually, since I was 2 months old.”
she paused.  Usually in a situation like this it gets awkward.  I’ve never understood WHY the mention of adoption gets awkward.  maybe b/c the subject is often un-relatable and people don’t know how to respond.  OR (like one time…. saved for another story) they think ‘oh.. you poor unwanted child”.  So I guess I answered my own question.  ANYWAYS…

After a brief pause she said “this may be intrusive, but when were you told you were adopted.”
Now, THIS WAS intrusive, but not offensive so I told her, “very early.  I feel like I’ve known my entire life.”
“I’m sorry, but I have one last question… Did you ever feel disconnected from your parents?”

KEEP IN MIND I was probably 16…. and she was definitely somewhere in her mid/late 30’s asking these questions.
I didn’t answer immediately, but told her the truth: “No.  I’ve never known the difference.”

She started crying.  In the yarn section.  In front of a kid half her age.
I was, of course, surprised but tried to comfort her.
She told me earlier that week she had received a fertility test that told her it would very unlikely that she could ever get pregnant.  She had just married a recently divorced man with two children in high school.  A month earlier he had been deployed over for a scheduled year.  His children primarily stayed their mother and her new husband, and he had wanted to start a family with her (the Hobyy Lobby woman).
He was fine with adoption, but the conversation had only gone as far as one could over webcam.
“I’m just so afraid they won’t love me..”
“Children don’t discriminate…. they respond to those who provide that safe and loving environment… somethingsomethingsomething.”

We continued talking… still in that yarn aisle. And near the end she just stepped forward and hugged me.  “Thank you”

So maybe this isn’t complete like my last post, but this memory meant alot.  I might have helped a child’s adoption.  I may have helped grow a happy family.  It was a life changing moment that I could be part of.

I wonder if she ever adopted.

Counting down to graduation with a post a day recalling an amazing moment that I consider mind /life changing.

Day #1

I think I was 6.  I was with my dad in a train station either in Washington or somewhere in southwestern Canada. The sun was barely up.
It was cold, wet, and we had to wait outside, for what seemed like hours for the next train.  Both of us were very under dressed for the weather
There was only one other guy in that station and he had been making me very nervous. (disclaimer: I was pretty much nervous around anyone I didn’t know back then…)
He walked up to us and handed us a fastfood burrito and said, “I had an extra, and you two look cold.  This should warm you up.”

Years later I remembered this moment and realized that this guy was probably homeless and could have ignored us completely…

memories are weird, so he very well could have been another well-off passenger, but for years believing he was homeless reassured me that “good” did exist.

MAJOR graduation goggles….

Lately I keep thinking about “good” times.  Not fun… moments of good.

I was bullied up until the 4th grade, verbally and physically.
Don’t ever take bullying lightly…. especially when it happens to children.
For years I believed everyone to be “bad.”  I was constantly scared when I had to interact with people.  I wonder sometimes who I would have become if I hadn’t experienced certain moments of human compassion…

 Argue if you want, but I believe that human behavior, for the most part, is predictable.  We’re also very selfish. 
I’m counting down to graduation with a post a day recalling an amazing moment that I consider mind (life) changing.

Even if its not read I’m going to do it for myself.